The concept of a family starts from the moment we recognize the people surrounding us. Just like the time when our moms carried us the first time and we felt their warmth exuding from their skin. It is the time when our dads play “peek a boo” in front of us and see us giggle every time we see their face. It is the time when our siblings lie down beside us when we are asleep and started to wake us up to play.
Every time I recall my own childhood memories with my family, I realize that It is one of the most wonderful times that ever happened to me. There was nanay, tatay, and toto. They were all smiling at me. They were excited to see me grow, enjoy with my playmates, go to school for the first time, graduate for the 1st time, excel in school, meet new friends, visit other places, seen me finished high school, conquered college and medical school. Yes, they were there for me! I felt so lucky to have them until my post graduate internship (the last step before the Physician Licensure Examination) when my world turned upside down.
I was on duty that time when I received a call from my father. He told me that he suddenly lost his balance and fell on the floor hitting his head on the table's corner. I was then really worried and told him to go immediately to the hospital for work up and further evaluation. I never imagined that what had happened to him will be the last 2 months we’ll be together. From the time he was admitted, we never got discharged from the hospital. From a simple fracture of his nose bridge to the scariest news we received about his health condition. Yes, he was incidentally diagnosed to have Stage 4 Lung Cancer and that made us really depressed. He was a non smoker and never did have any vices at all and the findings really broke our hearts. It was really hurting on my part since I studied medicine and soon will be licensed and for him to witness me having my oath was a dream that suddenly shattered. Tatay left us and I couldn’t believe until now.
It will be his 2nd year death anniversary on April and I am saddened ever time I think about him. I am a licensed doctor now and on training in one of the best hospitals in the country but he is gone.
Everything that I used to do before had changed. The concept of a family that I used to have has changed. I felt weak without a father because for 27 years, he was their behind us no matter what. I felt alone without a father because for 27 years when I needed someone to talk to, he was always available for me. I felt hopeless without a father because for 27 years, he never did us feel unsecured in reaching our dreams. That’s why, where ever I am right now, I am very much thankful for him because he never gave up on our dreams.
Today, all I have are memories from him and I am feeling mixed emotions right now. My mouth smiles while my eyes are shedding tears. If my Tatay’s still alive up to this moment, I wanted to spend more time with him and tell him how much I owe my life to him and how much I love him.
Tatay, salamat kag palangga ka gid namon.
ALLAN ROD S. PASUELO, R.N., M.D.
Every time I recall my own childhood memories with my family, I realize that It is one of the most wonderful times that ever happened to me. There was nanay, tatay, and toto. They were all smiling at me. They were excited to see me grow, enjoy with my playmates, go to school for the first time, graduate for the 1st time, excel in school, meet new friends, visit other places, seen me finished high school, conquered college and medical school. Yes, they were there for me! I felt so lucky to have them until my post graduate internship (the last step before the Physician Licensure Examination) when my world turned upside down.
I was on duty that time when I received a call from my father. He told me that he suddenly lost his balance and fell on the floor hitting his head on the table's corner. I was then really worried and told him to go immediately to the hospital for work up and further evaluation. I never imagined that what had happened to him will be the last 2 months we’ll be together. From the time he was admitted, we never got discharged from the hospital. From a simple fracture of his nose bridge to the scariest news we received about his health condition. Yes, he was incidentally diagnosed to have Stage 4 Lung Cancer and that made us really depressed. He was a non smoker and never did have any vices at all and the findings really broke our hearts. It was really hurting on my part since I studied medicine and soon will be licensed and for him to witness me having my oath was a dream that suddenly shattered. Tatay left us and I couldn’t believe until now.
It will be his 2nd year death anniversary on April and I am saddened ever time I think about him. I am a licensed doctor now and on training in one of the best hospitals in the country but he is gone.
Everything that I used to do before had changed. The concept of a family that I used to have has changed. I felt weak without a father because for 27 years, he was their behind us no matter what. I felt alone without a father because for 27 years when I needed someone to talk to, he was always available for me. I felt hopeless without a father because for 27 years, he never did us feel unsecured in reaching our dreams. That’s why, where ever I am right now, I am very much thankful for him because he never gave up on our dreams.
Today, all I have are memories from him and I am feeling mixed emotions right now. My mouth smiles while my eyes are shedding tears. If my Tatay’s still alive up to this moment, I wanted to spend more time with him and tell him how much I owe my life to him and how much I love him.
Tatay, salamat kag palangga ka gid namon.
ALLAN ROD S. PASUELO, R.N., M.D.
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